heyyy this is my cozy little journal corner on the web 🌙 i’m naz and i build robots & dreams. stay a while.
I have officially a blog now and it is super cuter (i know you have eyes and probably wondered the same). I wonder when I am able to add my pictures.
I want to taste the sweetness of my life like how I taste my chocolate. How can I do this?
I have tried numerous ideas and theories and I’m still on the journey. The key factors I have learned are:
✧ Make it personal using your creative side to help you design the life you have dreamed of.
✧ New things, don’t be afraid to shake things up. The mystery of solving how the formula works will excite you.
✧ Not giving up and documenting your process. Fight your inner demons by staying consistent.
✧ Landmarks and resets! I have small ones daily and weekly checkpoints too.
✧ Systems aren’t my favorite thing, but I can make them fun and weird in my own way.
✧ Hobbies? Talents? Distractions? Know your quirks. Mine is this blog.
✧ I write stories every week to cope and celebrate. It's giving ✨storyteller bot queen✨.
✧ Prep + plan. Even lazy geniuses need blueprints.
8 hours. That’s all you need. Then sleep, scroll, or dream. But show up for you first.
I feel awful. i have yet to submit an assignment this year am i failing? no im not failing, this is the beginning of my scene that i am setting.
i tried everything in the book to learn about myself. i want this lifestyle. i need this. how could i be so dense? well i am not. im just blinded, by the time. i mean i can calculate it perfectly. but im unaware the huge leakage there is in my time perception.
i feel sad
i showed a side of me i promised not to. anyways i feel numb i think i feel sad but this is perfect. i have an exam in 3 days. i will ace it. what a fool i was thinking i needed a rat in my life.
thinking ....
Days aren’t really days for me. I’ve come to learn they’re cycles.
It’s an endless, repeating loop—not days. “Days” are too long for me.
I’m not afraid to die early.
What confuses me is why anyone would want to live a long life.
Another thing:
I’m afraid to die with the fact that I haven’t achieved my dream of becoming a robotics designer.
So there I was, retwisting my hair at 9 p.m.
I wanted to cook. I wanted to smoke. I wanted to clean my room—
but mostly, I wanted it squeaky clean.
Now don’t get me wrong—I had done something that day.
I woke up at 7 a.m. sharp, and until 11, I practiced my assignment.
I did it in brief moments, barely reading it back.
As I was thinking about how I’d clean my room,
it hit me—I’m a second-year university student.
I have all the resources I need.
What I don’t have is a clear vision of myself.
The version I can see right now? Dull.
She’s not the same woman who once had great ambitions.
That’s because I’m afraid—
Afraid of myself.
Now that I have full control of myself,
I’m afraid to try.
Afraid to fail.
Afraid to find out I’m the dumb loser I fear I am.
But I’m not.
I am smart and cool.
My identity is stronger than most.
It’s resilient—like my mind.
Defiant.
Not loud, but graceful.
Not showy, but unshakable.
And after all that—this whirlwind of thought that took just seconds—
An amazing idea came to me:
So, I sat there feeling the hail drench my portrait,
making it almost impossible to recognise now.
My engine — how do I harness you?
You’re my hero, my knight and sword, you’re my saviour.
Who have I become?
I don’t know the person in the portrait — it’s not a stranger,
but I have never met them before.
I claim the right to harness you.
i think im starting to love my peace, when my bank closed i was scared but i was also happy, why? - you may ask?
well i can proof myself that everything is expendable, how to be prepared when i don't have online banking anymore -better to find out when you already have not so money.
one amazing thing that i learned from law of attraction is everything can be bended with your believe system. -keeping your mind and brain clean and healthy is a crucial first step to this.
Today is the day im starting my 100 things in a day challenge. Will I completely fail and fall flat on my face with the harsh reality that it is indeed impossible? Or be able to do a 100 things in the day and thrive, incorporate it into my future daily life?
